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What’s On Your Fall Television Schedule?

fall tv schedule feature imageFall is just around the corner, and with it some really great television. I can tell you for certain that some of our staple shows are bound for greatness with their fall premieres: The Walking Dead (October 12, AMC) for instance is already claiming to have the most “intense first six minutes” and with what I have seen so far, I don’t doubt it.

American Horror Story

Even those last season’s American Horror Story: Coven, wasn’t my favorite chapter of the franchise, I have to say that I am completely on board with Freak Show (October 8, FX)! I think, once again, Ryan Murphy has been set up for greatness with this next season and as long as he isn’t trying to shove too much into it like last year, Freak Show has the potential to really scare the life out of us. I mean, this year’s villian is a killer clown that is supposed to make Pennywise look like Ronald McDonald.

The Blacklist

Returning for its sophmore season is one of the only two shows left on NBC that’s worth watching (IMO) and that is The Blacklist (September 22, NBC). Since cancelling Revolution (yeah, not ready to let that one go), NBC hasn’t exactly wowed me with their summer programming, Taxi Brooklyn and Rosemary’s Baby reboot.. REALLY!? Nor has any of their new shows for fall seem like standouts, so as long as The Blacklist is coming back, I will keep NBC on my favorites list.

James Spader is pure awesomeness as Raymond “Red” Reddington, and he breathes life into a network that is full of bad reality TV and poorly scripted dramas. He adds humor and sass in a show that is full of interesting and intriguing plot lines, and is surrounded by an equally talented supporting cast.

Sadly, CBS and ABC have pretty much lost me as a viewer, with Modern Family being about the only thing left on ABC that I make sure to tune in for. I am still in love with the Pritchetts and Dumpheys and cannot wait for them to come back to my Wednesday night line up. Even seven seasons in, they find ways to keep family life really ridiculous, funny, and easy going. 

Sons of Anarchy

In other places, FX is gearing up for their final season of Sons of Anarchy (September 9, FX). My only regret here is that I missed out on the first six seasons as they played out live, only having binged the show over this past winter. I have yet to catch up on season six, but that’s ok. My DVR is set and ready for the Son’s final season, and I will play catch up along the way thanks to the magical addiction that is my Netflix account.

Speaking of which, if you don’t have a Netflix subscription, I highly suggest getting one or making friends with someone who is willing to share. Some of the absolute best television programming right now is on Netflix and you would be doing yourself a diservice if you miss out on Orange is the New Black and House of Cards. Both of which will air new seasons in 2015, so you have plenty of time to catch up!

Even though I am well out of the targeted demo for it, I am really excited for the return of Supernatural (October 7, CW).

Supernatural

Season 10 premieres this October, and I am giddy with excitment. The way that last season ended was a game changer, and a fantastic way to lend life to a show that, most would say should have ended four or five seasons ago. Keep huntin’ boys, I’ll ride along in the Impala until we are all old and gray.

So far, the only new show that looks worth tuning in to, for me anyway, is Fox’s ‘Gotham’. I am admittedly a big fan of the Dark Knight Series, and I think that this prequel tale of Gotham city looks pretty gritty. I like gritty. While I do love some funny stuff, some of the best television I have watched has been down right dirty (either in mud or scandal). Go with what you know, right?

My biggest WTF so far of the fall season is the mysterious return of HBO’s The Newsroom. I feel as though I may be among the ones of people waiting for the third and final season. This show was fresh, funny, smart, and captivating. I am simultaneously pissed and enamoured with Aaron Sorkin for getting me hooked, then taking this little gem away. 

Of course, these are just my picks for what’s worth watching this fall. I know some of my other fellow TV Junkies have their own DVR schedule and will be sharing it in the near future. But for now, I want to know…

…what’s on YOUR viewing schedule?

Binge-Worthy TV: Top 10 Shows to Fill Up On

Homer Simpson - couch potatoOur Picks for the Top Ten Shows to Fill Up On

Oh, how the holidays are filling! Family dinners, luscious desserts… from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve, our waistlines suffer, as does our need for good entertainment. Most shows go on hiatus near the end of the fall, and, while reruns are OK from time to time, I like to try and find something that’s brand new to me. And totally binge-worthy.

We here at EMTV have a tendency to dive in and get wrapped up when we find a new show that catches our interest. I remember over one Christmas break from work, I got through the first two (and sadly only two) seasons of Carnivale. Watched the first few episodes, and two days later had watched all twenty-four. Since then, there have been quite a few vacations, weekends, and holidays where we’ve given our Netflix subscriptions a severe workout, and we want to share our top ten favorite binges with you.

While arguments can be made for a lot of shows that have aired over the years, we tried to find a representative of various genres. Ya know, cause sometimes you just wanna bring on the funny, while others you want to dive deep into a mythical realm where dragons and imps reign supreme.

In really no particular order, I give to you – Shows to Waste Enormous Amounts of Time On!

Sons of Anarchy (2008-Present) – This past fall I had seen so many people freaking out about what was happening on Sons of Anarchy, I knew it would be one to check out. It had always been one of those those shows I noticed, but had such a busy viewing calendar, I put it off. Luckily I had a few hours to kill when my other shows went on hiatus. Now, here I am three weeks later and five seasons deep.

Like most violent dramas, SOA has no shortage of blood, bullets, and boobs. But, unlike other shows of its’ type, it actually surprises you. Every time I thought, oh, well, it’s gonna go this way… it shifts gears and goes in a completely different direction. I must shout WTF! at least two times per episode.

Much like a lot of characters on TV lately, this gang of hoodlums are definitely of the anti-hero ilk. Criminals at heart and by choice, this is a bunch of men (and women) that you would never normally root for. So why is it that you can’t help but want them to constantly get away with the bad things they do? Because deep down, you know these guys (and gals) love their family and are only trying to provide for them and protect their home town.

The cast is pretty stellar, and they inject a certain something into their characters that makes their bad sides kinda hard to hate. Well, except Clay. I think I will ALWAYS hate Clay. The show is a bit like crack, but if you can handle the addiction, I say this is a show you could easily binge on.

The “L” Word (2004-2009) – What makes a TV show one to binge watch? I think you need to ask yourself what you LIKE to watch. Now, I’ve tried watching shows that people suggest or even what smart search suggests, but I find it’s best to binge on what you know and love. Do you like non-stop drama and attractive women? Well, The L Word could be the show for you to binge on!

There’s 6 seasons of non-stop drama for your mama, an amazingly beautiful and talented cast of women, and an array of characters with various personalities. With this show you’re going to learn so much about the Gay Culture along with the pride and struggles behind same-sex partners. Meanwhile seeing these women deal with the problems relationships bring, on top of real life responsibilities – work, family, love, and survival.

This show will give you an introspective look at the minds and hearts of women. How they think and feel. What friendship and love is really about, and lots of hook ups too! These lesbians know where it’s at in L.A.! Gay rights is a hot topic on this show, so if you’re homophobic, don’t skip this one! You should tune in and learn something!

There’s LOTS of depth and substance throughout this show, despite it’s questionable and frustrating 6th season finale. But at least you had a HELL of a run! I HIGHLY recommend watching The L Word – it made me laugh and cry. It made me pick sides and then switch perspectives! It’s an interesting show with a good sense of humor and whole lot of heart.

Supernatural (2005-Present) Two hot guys, a cool car and lots of other-worldly adventures. How could you NOT want to pour yourself into this show? But even beyond its pretty packaging, the story itself is an epic tale of Cain and Abel proportion set in modern day. Supernatural is a story of a family torn apart by a life-long destiny that no one wanted, and everyone tried to run from.

Take every story you’ve heard about monsters going bump in the night, and you have your MOTW (Monster of the Week) stories, being held up by a strong and deep mythology that will leave your mouths agape as it unfolds. The show is able to make fun of itself one week and leave you in a messy pile of feels on the floor, the next.

What makes this show binge-able (and sustainable) after nine seasons, is the amazing acting chops of said pretty packaging: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. These guys are goofballs and best friends off set, but when the cameras roll, they can set your emotions off in a tail spin. From laughing to tears all in one episode, THEY are what makes this show just that much more amazing than the others of its’ kind. Go ahead, jump in the Impala and take the ride with the Winchesters… you won’t regret it.

The Walking Dead (2010-Present) This show… well, unless you have been living under a rock these past few years, you have to have at least heard of The Walking Dead. If you are generally a fan of horror, blood, guts and zombies, then this is the show for you to spend countless hours diving into.

From the first minute, it is compelling, character driven television. Sure there are lulls in the story, but when you are battling slow moving, brainless flesh eaters, sometimes there just happens to be a little down time. What The Walking Dead offers in the study of human nature is nothing short of spectacular. That, and the unique way the writers find to kill the zombies, is what makes TWD a fairly binge-able show.

Besides the awesome make-up and special effects, the characters themselves are pretty bad ass (for the most part). As the story unfolds, and people come and go, you will find yourselves more wrapped up in the warped thinking of some characters, than the zombie threat they live with. Questionable decisions, and unlikely heroes will keep you watching episode after episode until you feel like one of the zombies yourself.

The Office (2005-2013) I could go on and on as to WHY The Office is the best comedy in the world to binge on, but in the words of Dunder Mifflin’s boss Michael Scott, I’m going to K.I.S.S. the topic instead (K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Stupid)

It’s funny. Period. No, wait… its REALLY funny. Like, side splitting funny. And dumb, really, really dumb. What separates this from the average funny show you ask… The people who work in the office. Michael Scott is a normal guy, who just wants to know what it feels like to have friends, family, and be the best boss in the world. Oh, and be the best improv comedian, magician, screenwriter, actor, etc. in the universe. Wrap all that up in one average paper salesman turned manager, and let the hi-jinks ensue. Then, back him up with a sidekick like Dwight Schrute, and all bets are off. Michael and Dwight are just TWO of the laundry list of reasons why this show should be THE comedy to watch – again and again and again.

What really makes this the comedy to binge on isn’t just the laughs, but all the little things that support the funny. There are also these moments in the documentary-style off-beat comedy that are sweet and poignant. It’s smart and ridiculous all at the same time. And with each episode only twenty (or so) minutes long, you could easily breeze through nine season’s worth of episodes. Trust me, once you get a load of Michael Scott’s screenplay, you won’t want to stop watching!

Fringe (2008-2013) You either like Sci-Fi or you don’t. But I suspect that even if you fall into the latter category, you could easily get wrapped up in Fringe. I happen to be a big fan of sci-fi shows, books and movies. So when I saw this show and that it was combined with a name like J.J. Abrams, I really couldn’t pass up a little gem like this.

I watched this show as it unfolded in real time on FOX. Somewhere between seasons 3 and 4 I got behind, and ended up binging on DVDs of seasons 1-4 in order to get ready for the shortened fifth and final season. While the story is mythology heavy and the “fringe” part of the science discussed is way over my IQ level, I couldn’t stop watching this show.

I’ll give you the four main reasons to give Fringe a chance: Walter, Peter, Olivia and Astrid. Remember that last name, because Walter always forgets; but the alternatives he comes up with are just the icing on the cake. Walter is one of the most amazing characters I have ever watched on TV. Of course, you have to completely suspend belief in realism to fully immerse yourself in it, but I think if you can shut off your brain for a while, you would easily get sucked in to the alternative Fringe-verse that awaits. Besides, Walter makes some really amazing drugs in his lab. Do you really want to miss out on that? And did I forget to mention there’s a cow?

Breaking Bad (2008-2013) There is a very popular trend on television over the past ten years of showcasing the anti-hero main character-type. I mentioned it earlier that the SOA crew was made up of personalities like that, but no show did that character type better than Breaking Bad’s Walter White. I know, it’s hard to imagine a man in his 50’s, wearing khakis, a cheap button down dress shirt and sneakers as a scary villian. But. somehow Bryan Cranston did that with cancer-stricken chemistry teacher, Walter White.

Along with his meth-cook sidekick Jessie Pinkman, Walter White made his mark on everyone’s Sunday night for five years. Having a break in my TV schedule last year, I found it on Netflix and caught up with the rest of the world, watching Walt struggle with a poor health diagnosis and a growing methamphetamine business. On more than one occasion I found myself watching, completely captivated, mouth agape, at what I was watching unfold.

I don’t think there is another show on television that had such a strong run as Breaking Bad. From start to finish it told a complete story, with a very satisfying ending. Because of the way the show is formatted, binging on it is just as easy as binging on Walt’s special blue meth, or so I presume. Most endings are left in a cliffhanger, and most of the beginnings foreshadow a oncoming disaster, so it is nearly impossible to tell yourself, “Just one more episode.” 

How I Met Your Mother (2005-2014) It all started in January 2013. I had no work… for the whole month! So, what did I do? I sat on my comfy-@$$ couch and binged on Netflix! And what did I watch you ask? Eight and a half seasons of How I Met Your Mother until I caught up to present day airing. That’s gotta be some sort of a record!!! HIMYM is an easy show to binge on. Each episode is only 22 minutes, which means, I could view about 3 episodes per hour, and if on average I watched 6-8 hours of TV, that’s 18-24 episodes a day. We’re looking at 1 season, or just shy of 1 season, a day. So, the viewer just flies through the show, getting a lot of TV for a “lesser” time commitment.

HIMYM is just down right cute and fun, and extremely relatable! With nothing to do for the month of January, I decided to make some new friends: Lily, Marshall, Robin, Barney, and Ted! They are a group of true friends who can be extremely silly and completely honest with each other. They will call each other out when necessary, even hold an intervention for one another, and will always have each others’ backs! The show’s use of call-backs, past references, and countless inside jokes allows the audience to feel as though they’ve been seamlessly admitted into the crew, without any questioning or hazing. The writing is inviting and open-minded, very appropriate for today’s young adult generation. Nothing is off-limits on HIMYM. They address topics like dating, parenthood, mommy & daddy issues, employment and relationship issues, sex, drugs, alcohol, friendships, friends with benefits, bromances, bachelor-life… you name it, it’s in there! Any viewer can easily relate to any one or more of the characters.

Barney Stinson is reason enough to watch the show! Though Robin is my personal favorite, Barney steals the show. He may be cocky, chauvinistic and outrageously ridiculous, but that’s what gets you hooked. His shenanigans are worth seeing and keep you wanting more. Neil Patrick Harris is an exceptional actor, period. If anything, at least watch the episode where Barney sings “Suits.” Who doesn’t love a musical episode? And if you enjoyed that, be sure to catch episodes featuring Robin Sparkles to hear “Let’s Go to the Mall,” and “Sandcastles in the Sand.” #Hilarious

The final reason to stay tuned is to find out who the eff Ted’s wife will be! So be sure to catch up, it’s quick and easy, and most importantly, it’s fun! Watch it on Mondays at 8pm on CBS because it’s going to be LEGEN wait for it…. DARY! LEGENDARY!

Game of Thrones (2011-Present) Watching Game of Thrones (GoT) at first was a little bit like one of those crazy dreams where it was high school history class combined with a strange acid trip, and flavored with ancient fairy tales… and not the kind granny used to tell. You know, those crazy, old, scary ones that were meant to frighten little children to keep them out of the woods. Yeah, that was my initial taste of GoT when I gave it a shot last February. But, you know what? After the end of episode two, I was diggin’ it. So, two seasons in about a week, really wasn’t hard.

Game of Thrones really is epic. Sometimes I think that word is thrown around a little to liberally with TV Shows these days, but in this case, its fitting. Even though there are a lot of characters, (even now I still get names confused) you will end up coming to love or loathe all of them. Its a great fit for a trip to fantasy island, where you just want to immerse yourself in a new realm, full of kings and queens, horrible and wonderful, swords and dragons, dire wolves and whitewalkers…

While there are only three seasons available, and only ten episodes per seasons, GoT is a great binge show. Yes, its heavy in dialogue, accents and, well, boobs, but there are dragons! Seriously, people, dragons!! How could you NOT want to see that! It’s clever, surprising, fascinating and captivating television. Winter is coming, don’t be the last one in from the cold.

Mad Men (2007-Present) Ok, to be honest, I struggled a little in choosing one last show for this list. Ultimately, what made me choose Mad Men is still a bit of a mystery to me. I started the show through DVDs from Netflix, and had a hard time getting past the first disc. When it became available for streaming, I decided to try again and picked up where I left off. Not exactly sure what it was, but from that second chance, I devoured four seasons in no time.

Here’s the funny part – one of my fellow TV Junkies asked me what I found so compelling about Mad Men. The more I thought about it, I couldn’t come up with a good answer. I just went blank. Yet, I couldn’t wait to get to the next episode. When season 5 became available, I watched it in a handful of days. What I think I enjoyed about it most, is the era and the business of advertising on Madison Avenue in the 1960’s. A period in time that sparks an interest and an industry that is close to my heart, I guess there was just an attraction for me to this show. BUT, as I got further and further into the seasons, the more I dug it.

Aside from the main character, Don Draper, the surrounding cast is phenomenal. Peggy, secretary turned Copy Editor, is a force to be reckoned with and Roger Sterling is just pure entertainment to watch. Don eventually gets interesting and his character slowly becomes a perfect study of childhood trauma affecting adult behavior. If you have any interest in psychology or study of social behavior, than this show is REALLY for you! Action-free but full of booze, sex and lies, Mad Men is a great way to fill your need for some serious drama-centric entertainment.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: These are some one or two seasons shows that are definitely worth considering for a quick binge-fix:

Orange Is The New Black (2013-Present, Netflix Original) – Excuse my language, but this show is the sh*t. Funny, sad, ridiculous… oh, and a character named Crazy Eyes. Need I say more?

The Newsroom (2012-Present, HBO) – Easily the best drama of its kind on television. Jeff Daniels won that Emmy for a reason folks, Watch it. Delight in it. Then watch it again, because you will hear things you missed the first time around. Brilliant and exciting television. HBO better give MORE than nine episodes for its third season, due to air sometime in 2014.

Revolution (2012-Present, NBC) – This show is intense. It gets a little mucky in the middle of season one, but the season that is currently airing on NBC has been nothing short of fantastic. Revolution is scientific, apocalyptic and has hot dudes fighting with swords. You really can’t go wrong.

American Horror Story (2011-Present, FX) – The ONLY reason AHS wasn’t included on the initial list was because it is currently airing its third season on FX. But, you can easily watch the first two stories in this horror series on Netflix now. Season 1: Murder House and Season 2: Asylum, are completely separate stories, and both fun and horrid in their own ways. But the real reason to dive into this show – two words… Jessica Lange. That is all.

Thanks for following along, and I hope this little review helps you pick some binge-able shows to add to your roster to fill in the gaps of what’s new on TV. As I wrap up the last few episodes of Sons of Anarchy, I am ready to line up my next one – any suggestions?

Here’s hoping 2014 brings us some great new television that doesn’t include any laugh tracks or procedural cop shows. Happy New Year to all, and don’t forget to set those DVRs!

What I Want to SEE from American Horror Story!

American Horror Story 3×08 – Is there a way for me to keep this blog short? …Doubtful!

I’ve been told by my colleague that THIS season was deemed to be lighter and more whimsical than Season 2; that the writers needed a break after their dark and heavy masterpiece, Asylum. Well, you know what I say to that? Grow a pair, creators!! Are you KIDDING me? As I said in my last post, where’s the horror?

Cordelia-Acid-Eyes-American-Horror-Story-Coven-The ups and downs in the story have made me question if and how this show could possibly clean up the mess of a season they’ve created. The story is just all over the place!

We’ve got a supreme that’s awesome one episode and then falling apart in the next! How many times do we need to see Fiona battle for witch supremacy? In the beginning of the season Fiona deals with time and the inevitable effects it has on the human body, which was a great start to her downfall – And we learned very quickly how powerful she is (lots of house fights and usage of the assisting power of walls…bah). Too bad she stopped sucking the life out of people…she did it once and that was it…why? You’d think she’d have performed that trick against Madison!

We all know Fiona is purely selfish and evil; she cares not for her coven, nor her daughter’s well-being. She was successful in accusing Myrtle for her daughter’s acid-attack, and after burning that witch down, we never speak of the instance again?  Nope! Instead, she’s jazzing it up with The Axeman!

307 fiona copy

Furthermore, Fiona manipulates the young witches…what a great role model.

It’s almost too bad the coven failed to get Fiona to kill herself [because I wanna know who the next supreme is!!]…thanks a lot, Spalding, for giving Fiona a spoonful of not-sugar to help that medicine come up!

My ranting may be deceiving. Though I am flustered with this story, I truly do love the characters. I am still captivated by Jessica Lange and her glorious dialogue. I still want to run my fingers through Lily Rabe’s beautiful locks. I want more bad-ass Angela Bassett on my screen! I still anticipate what the next episode will bring to us each week!  I just want to convey my concern for the direction this season has taken [in the writing, the mixed back of plots…] there are so many holes in the story, I don’t want to be as disappointed as I was with Season 1! (I don’t mean to hate on Season 1, it was just not as good as Season 2 and it had a stupid ending).

Might as well wrap this up with a “short” list of complaints:

  • Somehow Madison’s back to normal and can feel sadness. She can’t get full but she can feel heartache. She still has a love/hate relationship for people; she likes a brain-dead multi-boy but hates her coven-sister with downs…you can’t be pretty, get a second chance at life and STILL be a bitch…what did NAN ever do except make nice with the hot neighbor? Oh…there it is.
  • Cordelia, you can’t complain about the staff not serving you a cup of tea when you can’t even attend classes, keep track of your students’ whereabouts or, wait for it, SEE!…..JEEBUS!
  • Zoe is the only one who’s learning something– kill people, just go ahead, kill people. Death snatch must be out of commission so murder by stabbing is the way to go and no one cares where Spalding is. Will Zoe burn for this? Or will Fiona forgive and forget since that seems to be the best way to handle things. Sweep it under the rug like a good witch! No one has to know…
  • I was really hoping Kathy Bates would play a more dominant role this season, but like so many characters, she just comes and goes without an afterthought.  She’s the most horrifying character when we get a glimpse at her past…too bad there isn’t more of that. I wish the season extended its story of her reign.
  • Queenie joins the Voodoo clan and instead of CARING about it, the coven will only resent her…way to go. Do Queenie’s parents know? Luckily, Detective Zoe & Madison are on the hunt! After following the scent of gumbo and sweat, they find her under an overpass! Those girls are GOOD! And now she’s pretty ruthless, effortlessly steals a man’s heart. That was awesome! It was bad-ass, it was, as she said, “VooDoo”.  I hope to see this transfer maximize Queenie’s VooDoo skills, as it hasn’t improved her acting skills.
  • Is the Axe Man alive or is he still a ghost? They haven’t resolved that yet…instead we get a hypothetical situation of Fiona on her death bed to waste our time with. Good job on the make-up, though – glad I got too see Gollum make a cameo!
  • I was VERY underwhelmed by the introduction between Misty Day and Fiona…my heart is set on Misty becoming the next supreme, but after that pathetic interaction I truly DO NOT KNOW what the heck is going on. Now I’m just hoping that Fiona kills everyone and then she’s supreme by default, she agrees to leave the voodoos alone in exchange for immortality and she can live happily ever after with her invisible friends, Casper the Jazzy Ghost and Roadkill, her faithful servant. I wonder if Axeman and Spalding will have a paranormal battle for Fiona’s heart…

I look forward to the next episode – Things will be LOOKING up for Cordelia, we’re hopefully going to get SOME sort of resolution with Hank and his magic silver bullets, and hopefully we’ll start to find a purpose.

Best line of the episodeCordelia: I never thought I’d see you again!

Come On, TV…What Are You Doing??

Anyone else a little annoyed, bored or perplexed by TV? There are a few programs that are “urking” me this season. ALL summer and beginning of fall we wait for our favorite shows to come back from hiatus and what do we get? MALARKY! Why are some shows doing great and others not-so-great??

What’s got me annoyed? How I Met Your Mother. They should have titled this season “How Your Uncle Married My Ex-Girlfriend” …..ALL season (and all those leading up to now) we’re plagued by Ted’s failed love attempts, which, by now should have finally come to a close with him finally meeting the mother! Well, so far, all we’ve gotten this season is a whole lotta NOTHIN’…nothin’ but silly jokes, gags & cameos. At least we get to enjoy angry Lilly. I get that it’s a HUGE event for Barney & Robin (though I still don’t get how they ended up together…but whatever, my sister agrees that they’re perfect for each other, and since she binged on the show’s entirety off Netflix this past summer, I’m just going to have to take her word for it) but why are they DRAGGING THIS OUT! Why do we need the play by play of a WEEKEND with these people?? What is this, 24: At Barney’s Wedding?? Not to mention Marshall’s been on a road trip…they couldn’t drive to another airport and get on another flight? There are no busses?? And when are Marshall and Lily gonna resolve their career conflict?? I want to believe this whole season is building up to an epic moment for Ted, but I feel that once THAT happens, once we FINALLY see how he meets the mother, we’re done! We’re not going to get to join in on the  journey because we’ve been spending the entire time WAITING for the Wedding day that took too long to happen! We saw how Ted proposed, but I need more – I want the romance and the relationship they’ve built together to blossom before my eyes once a week….i am very annoyed, can ya tell??

What’s got me bored? The Walking Dead. …..BORING…come on, creators…you’re killing me and I’m gonna shoot myself in the head so I don’t have to wake up and be a part of this snooze-fest. JEEBUS! Can we get a little more action and little more progression??  I need to know how the group will react to Carol’s exile and what Tyrese will do when the news hits him in the face like a hammer to a zombie! How the heck did Glen survive the brink of death? And who does Rick think he is?? “THIS IS A DEMOCRACY THAT YOU CHOSE NOT TO BE A PART OF! NOW GO MAKE SOME COMPOST AND RAISE SOME PIGS…WHAT DO WE WANT? BACON!! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? 4 EPISODES AGO!!” AND CAN WE JUST BRING CAROL BACK!? JEEBUS!! And come on, New Camp…you’re gonna take in the deadliest man alive and trust him and his one eye on a food hunt?? Are ya kidding me? Uuuummm how about you tell this stranger to stay with his new family, repair leaks, dig some more zombie holes, let the 2-eyes handle the big-boy responsibilities. Once again though, good ‘ol Gov’s BACK on top and killin’ anyone who gets in the way of him being The Man, or in this case RV-Camp Champ! One-Eyed Brian and all his zombie-heads will be proudly displayed in his RV soon enough….I’m ok with seeing the Zombie Apocalypse from other perspectives, but I need some resolution and I need some answers…this season is starting to feel too much like Season 2 (remember how frustrating it was knowing that Sophia was in the barn and they were all like, “omg you’ve got Zombie Sophia in the barn?? We’ve been looking all over for her!”) and I’m ready for them to leave the prison-life…

I was told that the 2nd half of this season is going to pick up at a faster pace; that it will be better than the first half, but I don’t accept that…what, am I supposed to just be ok with waiting for something better?? You know what I do when that happens? I DROP a show like it’s HOT (but it’s not)! I’m like, “FUNZO DONEZO!” Just like I did with Glee, just like I did with The New Girl, just like I’m thinkin’ about doing with Super Fun Night…and just like I should have done with Lost (I STILL don’t want to talk about it). TWD, you better not walk in those stupid footsteps or else….or else I guess I’ll stop watching!

(Sike, that’s an empty threat…i’ll still totally tune in…)

What’s got me perplexed? American Horror Story: Coven. Ummm…sooo…where’s the horror? Yeah, I think that’s all I really need to say. After TWD rant I just went on, might as well get straight to the point with AHS:C.

Sike, I’ll indulge you with my anger and wit;

Hey Creators! Remember Season 1 when you freaked us all out? I was SO scared (until I put my big-girl pants on) JUST from the opening scene/opening credits and from the first time I heard that broken mp3 you chose as the theme song!  Too bad the Murder House finale was a farce..but whatever…And remember Season 2? You did such a great job with the writing, the direction and the symbolism, I could put Asylum on a pedestal and worship it, I believed in it so much!

Most excitingly, this season brought us an impressive cast – predominantly women of many familiar faces and some new, but all for what?
– Where’s the crazy voodoo magic and impressive spells of witchcraft?
– Why isn’t the supreme being supreme?? Oh, she’s too busy being a terrible mom, ghost-lover? Okay….
– Is the Axeman still a ghost, or what?
– Where’s Lily Rabe and her beautiful hair? (if you haven’t been reading my posts on AHS, just know that I’m in love with her this season)
-What’s the point of Kyle? I’m not very impressed with his Frankenstein performance …though I did like his butt.
-And did Zoe have enough brains to record the conversation she had with Spalding in order to bring justice to the wicked witch of the bayou??
-AND where the heck was NAN this last episode?? Just like where the heck was Kathy Bates that episode the girls decided to play with the Ouija board?? AND WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS?? Are the parents of these 3 students made aware of the danger their children are in? It’s 9pm, do you know where your children are? Oh, let me fill you in, cuz you should know  they’re barely surviving zombie attacks, being raped by attic goblins, and having unprotected threeways with a boy made of other boys! I thought this school was supposed to be a safe haven for these girls!!…

UGGHH That stupid three way…WHY?? FOR WHAT? How does that pertain to the story besides throw it off completely?? Oh, maybe Zoe will absorb some magic through her death snatch, another power to add to the list. “SUPER Death-Snatch…check”

Last I checked, it was called American HORROR Story,
not American WHORE Story! 

whore

I TRULY can not wait until Myrtle sprouts from the death garden into a flower of fury, bustin’ out with the truth and takes Fiona DOWN! Or tries to before Fiona can slam her against a wall (her best trick yet!…And btw, anyone wonder why Fiona used a match to light Myrtle on fire and not just use her Supremeness to do it? She should have snapped her fingers like Mary Poppins and WOOSH spit-spot, fire to the witch!). At least Queenie made her way to the dark side where she belongs*..she’s a HUMAN VOODOO, who could teach her better than the ultimate Voodoo herself? *Jokingly, it works in regards to complexion aswell 😉

Instead of a good horror story we have a late night drama of headless minotaur crap. Honestly, the only characters NOT pissing me off this season are Misty, Zoe with a chain saw, and Voodoo Queen, Angela Bassett who is ROCKIN’ the role wit dat accent!

spaldingNow that we are rid of Spalding and his exemplary personal hygiene and physical upkeep (…which, btw, I wonder if Zoe buried him under the gazeebo), I’d say Madam LeLaurie is the most horrifying character – as long as we get more flashbacks from her days of terrible bigotry. Yes, she’s all locked up now, gettin’ what she deserves and THAT’S good writing, but how can AHS explain the rest?? Can this mixed up story tie together in ANY way?? It’s all over the place and should really get back on track cuz right now I have NO idea what they’re doing except disappointing me.

JUSTICE, or Lack Thereof, for the Wicked…

So, I’m a little annoyed with The Walking Dead. I’m tired of shows trying to make me sympathize with horrible people. This past week we caught up with The Governor. This is one bad-ass dude and you can feel it even when watching Talking Dead when host, Chris Hardwick introduces David Morrissey to the audience…the silence is deafening…everyone’s SO SCARED of this guy! He’s just an actor, people – give him your respect, not fear and hatred! I feel bad for David.

The Walking Dead Season 4Anyways, what was this episode trying to show us? That the Gov’s s got some of his humanity back? That he’s a changed man? He’s had X-amount of time alone, abandoned by his henchmen (it’s about time they turned their back on him, too!) and that he’s basically given up on life, grows old-grandpa beard and uses his awesome skills to dodge zombies left and right..or one at a time…that was funny..I liked that part! Zombie —12 o’clock! Quick!…Dodge!..Fake to the left!…ZOMBIE DOWN!!!! Ooh, the Gov’s got skilllzzzzz…Haha…

So now he has a second chance to start over with a small group of survivors – some feat…a dying man, 2 small women and a little girl. He puts his past behind him with a fresh new name and a big fat lie in his back pocket…it’ll be wonderful when this group finds out the truth of Brian Heriot next week.

American Horror Story has been doing the same thing for three seasons with Jessica Lang’s characters. She’s the Queen of Terror for most of the season(s) and then at some point, the story shifts and we have to feel bad for this person who has done terrible things? Hmm…is there no justice for the wicked? Despite his popularity and existence in the comics, I just don’t see the point in the Governor coming back. Come on, how is it that Andrea, Rick, Michonne and the rest of the Woodbury clan couldn’t take this ONE man down?? They could have given him a great ending/death!

I admit, it was quite refreshing seeing new survivors (as I’ve been growing quite bored of the prison-life and the gang’s pathetic attempt to survive this virus and cutting Carol loose….BLASPHEMY).  Nonetheless, it’ll be interesting to watch this “great” man overcome his “fall from grace”.  Has he really changed? Is he going to try to get back to the top as soon as he can? That’s why they did that whole bit with the chess game, right? (yeah, like in Lost with Othello….BULL SH*T!!…I still hate you, Lost…)

TV knows everyone is a sucker for the rehabilitated – we LOVE to watch people who are at the top fall. Not me. I prefer consistency and progression in a story. Sometimes it doesn’t really matter if they make it out from under the bottom…and if they do, can we wait another few seasons for their comeback to truly be EPIC? Didn’t Michonne lose the Governor’s trail a while ago?? Come on, TWD…let’s move on, let’s get some freakin’ answers already!!

What I learned from this episode: The Gov is still a bad-ass and his parenting skills are top notch. He’ll teach you to play chess and kill zombies with his bare hands for you! Thanks, New-Dad! Also, zombies must not be THAT unsettling considering some people can sleep soundly through the night, vulnerable in a parked truck while SOME OTHER INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE make out RIGHT NEXT TO those sleepy heads…get another truck, you two! Ain’t nobody got time for that…’cept The Gov’na! Bow-chika-wow-wow!

35 Must Watch TV Shows…Says Who?!

I was perusing through IMDb.com and saw this:

35 must watch TV series before u die (2000 onwards)  by Ayas Ranjan (created Jul 24, 2011).

The list is carefully compiled for the younger generation from the series I’ve seen & to all the folks complaining about HIMYM, Desperate housewives etc: It’s not a list of popular series..read the title b4 u c the list. PS-Five new series which I think can go on to become must watch are added(no 31-35)”

Here’s the list….read it and then come back and continue reading.

To my surprise AND DISAPPOINTMENT, The Office is NOT on this list!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? How can this be?? The Office pioneers Steve Carell as an amazing comedic actor! His best role in his whole career is playing “Michael Scott”! Yes, he was great as “Brick Tamlen” in the always hilarious Anchorman movie(s), but playing Michael Scott has GOT to be his shining role!

Now, I do and have watched MANY of the shows on this list, but I have a few discrepancies ..what about Sex In The City? or The Simpsons? I’d even throw Family Guy in there. i can’t believe LOST is on there considering it’s got one of the WORST endings i’ve EVER seen…EVER! AND how can American Horror Story NOT BE ON THIS LIST?!?! SEASON 2 was AMAZING!!!…oh goodness, i’m getting angry….

I know my 35 Must Watch Shows would contain a few different shows from this list, so what TV shows do you think deserve to be on a top list of shows to watch (2000-2013)?