Come On, TV…What Are You Doing??

Anyone else a little annoyed, bored or perplexed by TV? There are a few programs that are “urking” me this season. ALL summer and beginning of fall we wait for our favorite shows to come back from hiatus and what do we get? MALARKY! Why are some shows doing great and others not-so-great??

What’s got me annoyed? How I Met Your Mother. They should have titled this season “How Your Uncle Married My Ex-Girlfriend” …..ALL season (and all those leading up to now) we’re plagued by Ted’s failed love attempts, which, by now should have finally come to a close with him finally meeting the mother! Well, so far, all we’ve gotten this season is a whole lotta NOTHIN’…nothin’ but silly jokes, gags & cameos. At least we get to enjoy angry Lilly. I get that it’s a HUGE event for Barney & Robin (though I still don’t get how they ended up together…but whatever, my sister agrees that they’re perfect for each other, and since she binged on the show’s entirety off Netflix this past summer, I’m just going to have to take her word for it) but why are they DRAGGING THIS OUT! Why do we need the play by play of a WEEKEND with these people?? What is this, 24: At Barney’s Wedding?? Not to mention Marshall’s been on a road trip…they couldn’t drive to another airport and get on another flight? There are no busses?? And when are Marshall and Lily gonna resolve their career conflict?? I want to believe this whole season is building up to an epic moment for Ted, but I feel that once THAT happens, once we FINALLY see how he meets the mother, we’re done! We’re not going to get to join in on the  journey because we’ve been spending the entire time WAITING for the Wedding day that took too long to happen! We saw how Ted proposed, but I need more – I want the romance and the relationship they’ve built together to blossom before my eyes once a week….i am very annoyed, can ya tell??

What’s got me bored? The Walking Dead. …..BORING…come on, creators…you’re killing me and I’m gonna shoot myself in the head so I don’t have to wake up and be a part of this snooze-fest. JEEBUS! Can we get a little more action and little more progression??  I need to know how the group will react to Carol’s exile and what Tyrese will do when the news hits him in the face like a hammer to a zombie! How the heck did Glen survive the brink of death? And who does Rick think he is?? “THIS IS A DEMOCRACY THAT YOU CHOSE NOT TO BE A PART OF! NOW GO MAKE SOME COMPOST AND RAISE SOME PIGS…WHAT DO WE WANT? BACON!! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? 4 EPISODES AGO!!” AND CAN WE JUST BRING CAROL BACK!? JEEBUS!! And come on, New Camp…you’re gonna take in the deadliest man alive and trust him and his one eye on a food hunt?? Are ya kidding me? Uuuummm how about you tell this stranger to stay with his new family, repair leaks, dig some more zombie holes, let the 2-eyes handle the big-boy responsibilities. Once again though, good ‘ol Gov’s BACK on top and killin’ anyone who gets in the way of him being The Man, or in this case RV-Camp Champ! One-Eyed Brian and all his zombie-heads will be proudly displayed in his RV soon enough….I’m ok with seeing the Zombie Apocalypse from other perspectives, but I need some resolution and I need some answers…this season is starting to feel too much like Season 2 (remember how frustrating it was knowing that Sophia was in the barn and they were all like, “omg you’ve got Zombie Sophia in the barn?? We’ve been looking all over for her!”) and I’m ready for them to leave the prison-life…

I was told that the 2nd half of this season is going to pick up at a faster pace; that it will be better than the first half, but I don’t accept that…what, am I supposed to just be ok with waiting for something better?? You know what I do when that happens? I DROP a show like it’s HOT (but it’s not)! I’m like, “FUNZO DONEZO!” Just like I did with Glee, just like I did with The New Girl, just like I’m thinkin’ about doing with Super Fun Night…and just like I should have done with Lost (I STILL don’t want to talk about it). TWD, you better not walk in those stupid footsteps or else….or else I guess I’ll stop watching!

(Sike, that’s an empty threat…i’ll still totally tune in…)

What’s got me perplexed? American Horror Story: Coven. Ummm…sooo…where’s the horror? Yeah, I think that’s all I really need to say. After TWD rant I just went on, might as well get straight to the point with AHS:C.

Sike, I’ll indulge you with my anger and wit;

Hey Creators! Remember Season 1 when you freaked us all out? I was SO scared (until I put my big-girl pants on) JUST from the opening scene/opening credits and from the first time I heard that broken mp3 you chose as the theme song!  Too bad the Murder House finale was a farce..but whatever…And remember Season 2? You did such a great job with the writing, the direction and the symbolism, I could put Asylum on a pedestal and worship it, I believed in it so much!

Most excitingly, this season brought us an impressive cast – predominantly women of many familiar faces and some new, but all for what?
– Where’s the crazy voodoo magic and impressive spells of witchcraft?
– Why isn’t the supreme being supreme?? Oh, she’s too busy being a terrible mom, ghost-lover? Okay….
– Is the Axeman still a ghost, or what?
– Where’s Lily Rabe and her beautiful hair? (if you haven’t been reading my posts on AHS, just know that I’m in love with her this season)
-What’s the point of Kyle? I’m not very impressed with his Frankenstein performance …though I did like his butt.
-And did Zoe have enough brains to record the conversation she had with Spalding in order to bring justice to the wicked witch of the bayou??
-AND where the heck was NAN this last episode?? Just like where the heck was Kathy Bates that episode the girls decided to play with the Ouija board?? AND WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS?? Are the parents of these 3 students made aware of the danger their children are in? It’s 9pm, do you know where your children are? Oh, let me fill you in, cuz you should know  they’re barely surviving zombie attacks, being raped by attic goblins, and having unprotected threeways with a boy made of other boys! I thought this school was supposed to be a safe haven for these girls!!…

UGGHH That stupid three way…WHY?? FOR WHAT? How does that pertain to the story besides throw it off completely?? Oh, maybe Zoe will absorb some magic through her death snatch, another power to add to the list. “SUPER Death-Snatch…check”

Last I checked, it was called American HORROR Story,
not American WHORE Story! 

whore

I TRULY can not wait until Myrtle sprouts from the death garden into a flower of fury, bustin’ out with the truth and takes Fiona DOWN! Or tries to before Fiona can slam her against a wall (her best trick yet!…And btw, anyone wonder why Fiona used a match to light Myrtle on fire and not just use her Supremeness to do it? She should have snapped her fingers like Mary Poppins and WOOSH spit-spot, fire to the witch!). At least Queenie made her way to the dark side where she belongs*..she’s a HUMAN VOODOO, who could teach her better than the ultimate Voodoo herself? *Jokingly, it works in regards to complexion aswell 😉

Instead of a good horror story we have a late night drama of headless minotaur crap. Honestly, the only characters NOT pissing me off this season are Misty, Zoe with a chain saw, and Voodoo Queen, Angela Bassett who is ROCKIN’ the role wit dat accent!

spaldingNow that we are rid of Spalding and his exemplary personal hygiene and physical upkeep (…which, btw, I wonder if Zoe buried him under the gazeebo), I’d say Madam LeLaurie is the most horrifying character – as long as we get more flashbacks from her days of terrible bigotry. Yes, she’s all locked up now, gettin’ what she deserves and THAT’S good writing, but how can AHS explain the rest?? Can this mixed up story tie together in ANY way?? It’s all over the place and should really get back on track cuz right now I have NO idea what they’re doing except disappointing me.

Posted on November 27, 2013, in Natalie's Blogs and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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